‘A still tongue makes a wise head’, says one proverb. Another says: ‘The wounds of a sword may heal one day; the wounds of the tongue, they never may.’ And then there is this note of caution: ‘Speak when you’re angry and you will make the best speech you’ll ever regret.’
While it is certainly true that great good can come from the tongue, it is also true that it can stir up immense enmity and strife. The tongue, despite it being a small organ of the body, has an influence wholly disproportionate to its size. How many conflicts, divisions, divorces and distresses have been triggered by angry words and unbridled tongues! Regretably, the tongue as a source of evil is something our communicative, social-networking culture seldom considers. In contrast to the modern urge to endlessly yap, yell and yodel (or rather I should say, text, tweet and tag), our ancients recognised that when a carpet of silence is laid, wisdom begins to settle.
As part of his celebrated and encyclopedic anthology of transmitted du‘as from the Prophet ﷺ, called: al-Adhkar, Imam al-Nawawi (d.676H/1277CE) devotes a chapter on the obligation to guard the tongue and the merits of silence. The following is a translation of the opening segments of that discussion:
اعْلَمْ أَنَّهُ يَنْبَغِي لِكُلّ مُكَلَّفٍ أَنْ يَحْفَظَ لِسَانَهُ عَنْ جَمِيعِ الْكَلَامِ إِلَّا كَلَامًاً تَظْهَرُ الْمَصْلَحَةُ فِيهِ، وَمَتَى اسْتَوَى الْكَلَامُ وَتَرَكَهُ فِي الْمَصْلَحَةِ فَالسُّنّةُ الْإِمْسَاكُ عَنْهُ، لِأَنَّهُ قَدْ يَنْجَرُ الْكَلَامُ الْمُبَاحُ إِلَى حَرَامٍ أَوْ مَكْرُوهٍ، بَلْ هَذَا كَثِيرٌ أَوْ غَالِبٌ فِي الْعَادَةِ، وَالسَّلَامَةُ لَا يَعْدِلُهَا شَيْءٌ.
رَوَيْنَا فِي صَحِيحَيِ الْبُخَارِيِّ [رَقْمُ: 6475] ، وَمُسْلِمٍ [رَقْمٌ: 47] ؛ عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، قَالَ: “مَنْ كَانَ يُؤْمِنُ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الْآخِرِ فَلْيَقُلْ خَيْرًاً أَوْ لِيَصْمُتْ”.
قُلْتُ: فَهَذَا الْحَدِيثُ الْمُتَّفَقُ عَلَى صِحَّتِهِ نَصّ صَرِيحٌ فِي أَنَّهُ لَا يَنْبَغِي أَنْ يَتَكَلَّمَ إِلَّا إِذَا كَانَ الْكَلَامُ خَيْرًاً، وَهُوَ الَّذِي ظَهَرَتْ لَهُ مَصْلَحَتُهُ، وَمَتَى شَكّ فِي ظُهُورِ الْمَصْلَحَةِ فَلَا يَتَكَلَّمُ. وَقَدْ قَالَ الْإِمَامُ الشَّافِعِيُّ رَحِمَهُ اللَّهُ: إِذَا أَرَادَ الْكَلَامَ فَعَلَيْهِ أَنْ يُفَكِّرَ قَبْلَ كَلَامِهِ، فَإِنْ ظَهَرَتِ الْمَصْلَحَةُ تَكَلَّمَ، وَإِنْ شَكَّ لَمْ يَتَكَلَّمْ حَتَّى تَظْهَرَ.
‘Know that it is required of every legally responsible person (mukallaf) that they guard their tongue from all speech, save that which contains overriding benefit. Whenever speaking or keeping silent are equal in their benefits, then the Sunnah is to refrain from speaking. For speech which begins as permissible can quickly degenerate into what is forbidden or disliked. In fact, this occurs a lot, or is more often the habit; and there is no substitute for safety.
It is related in the Sahihs of al-Bukhari [no.2018] and Muslim [no.47]; via Abu Hurayrah, may God be pleased with him; who relates that the Prophet ﷺ said: “Whoever believes in God and the Last Day, let him speak well or keep quiet.”
I say: The soundness of this hadith is agreed upon and it contains an explicit stipulation that one must not speak unless one’s words are good and that the benefit in doing so is clear and preponderant. Whenever there is uncertainty about the benefit being preponderant or not, one remains silent. Imam al-Shafi’i, may God have mercy upon him, has said: “When one intends to speak, let him think before he does so. If there is an overriding benefit, let him speak; if in doubt, let him desist from speaking until the benefit is clear.”‘1
Of course, nowadays, it’s not just our speech that we need to be concerned about. We need to guard what we text or tweet about too; for that too is part of our speech. The above words of Imam al-Nawawi, and the numerous hadiths that caution against the sins of the tongue, equally apply to our texts and tweets on social media. If talk can rapidly degenerate into what is haram, our texting or tweeting can do so too.
Indeed, received wisdom informs us that: Not everything that is good should be said, and not everything that is said should be spread. After all, as the saying goes, ‘The fool’s mind dances on the tip of his tongue’ – I suppose we could add, ‘… and his texting thumbs!’
Today, such wisdom has been largely thrown to the wind, to be replaced by hasty, trigger-happy texting or tweeting (the upshot of which can be damaging and damning, in both this world and the life to come). Let’s not let our tongues or activities on social media, become the nail in the coffin of our spirituality. As the Prophet, peace be upon him, once said whilst pointing to his tongue: ‘Restrain this. Is there anything that topples people on their faces into Hellfire other than the harvests of their tongues?’2
1. Al-Nawawi, al-Adhkar (Jeddah: Dar al-Minhaj, 2008), 535.
2. Al-Tirmidhi, no.2616, who said: the hadith is hasan sahih.
*This blog first appeared on The Humble I on 16th August, 2012, with the title: ‘Think Before You Speak.’ Here it has been revised, updated and reposted.